There are lots of great books out there teaching us how to “master our inner mean-girl” with awesome tips on how to stop the negative self-talk. But what about the outer mean-girls?
Yep. They’re still there.
Have you ever noticed that adult dramas are often no different to the dramas on the playground. From politics to lip stick nothing has changed.
As someone who was the target of mean-girls when I was a child, this continues to hit hard but I have managed some strategies to keep things in perspective and hope that they help you to do the same.
How was your school-life? Were you the target or the taunter? Perhaps you were wanting so desperately to fit in that you were willing to take down anyone you chose simply to stay ‘cool’. Hey, I don’t care if you were a mean girl. That was your coping strategy and I forgive you, we’re all fighting different battles but adults and now more than ever we need to empower each other.
We need to stop the keyboard bullying the karate-kicks masked as kindness the phoniness and the competition.
I felt compelled to write this because of an incident in the past week involving one of those 'mean-girls' willing to take people down to get on top. I don’t have any resentment towards people like this. But I do still get hurt. It spirals me back into that primary school playground and sometimes, it takes a while to put my chin back up.
The difference between now and then is that I am able to put my chin up and continue to be strong and the guidelines that help me are as follows:
Find your Tribe
So, if you find yourself getting put down, attacked, maybe unintentionally, maybe directly keep practicing these you amazing person!
Feel and acknowledge your emotions, thank them for the lessons that are being taught then … Seriously - rise up! And remember those three things.
Blast that authenticity like there is no tomorrow. The more we embrace our unique selves the stronger we become. Be yourself, break the mould and there is nothing that anyone can take from you.
Keep sprinkling that kindness wherever you go. Not that phoney crap, but genuine soul lifting kindness. We’re all in this together. Be kind – even to the mean girls (they need it most).
Find your tribe! Oh yes, those crazy silly amazing people that lift you up and make you feel whole. The ones who give you laugh lines and belly laughs and empower you to speak your truth.
And mean girls… Taunting each other, cutting others down, and flexing your ‘coolness’ is never going to empower you but by lifting someone else up – you’re truly the leader of the pack!
Fill your own heart up by healing the hearts of others.